selamat hari guru geguru semua !

assalamualaikum, 

satu entry per month ? memang mengalami sindrom kebusyan yang amat ni. 

well, happy teacher's day !

sebenarnya lupa hari ni 16 mei. tengok TL busy wish 'happy teacher's day to my mom', 'happy teacher's day to all my teachers', 'selamat hari guru to cikgu suraya' and paling famous de amor is 'happy teacher's day to 'tasha manshahar'. 

then, bila dah nampak semua-semua ni memang hari ni hari guru la kan ? 

 


macam, ohman ! hari guru la. 
so...

to :

1) guru-guru tadikaku yang ajar aku macam mana nak tukis A besar A kecil

2) ustaz ustazahku yang ajar macam mana nak tulis alif dan kenal huruf jawi

3) cikgu-cikgu yang pernah meluangkan walau seminit cuma untuk berkongsi ilmu denganku

4) my sista yang alhamdulillah tahun ni dah 3 tahun bergelar seorang guru
5) my sista in law too

and of course  

6) my mom that being my forever teacher on how to be a person

mesti cikgu-cikgu tengah eksited nak berbaris terima hadiah hari guru esok ni kan ? 

dia pernah herdik aku dengan mengatakan aku bodoh. tapi, herdikan itulah yang membuatkan aku berhenti membuat dosa.

dia pernah memujiku dengan menyisipkan perkataan 'good' 'excellent' 'sangat baik' pada helaian kertas exam pad ku. dan pujian itulah yang bawa dimana aku sekarang.

hidayah milik Allah indeed

suatu hari aku keluar with my 'two-three' peer.

tujuan ? seingat macam nak pigi memenuhi undangan. makan-makan.

with no reason of fashion. just kekuatan.. aku guna shock.
a dim brown for exact.

she saw and said "eh tetiba pulak kau pakai stokin....."

and me ? i got no answer to reply her. nak bagitau saya dapat kekuatan ?  dalam tengah turun tangga and i still finding ?

aku senyum kejanggalan..

time goes by, she start cover up her hair once she going out.

she start 'labuhkan' tudung to cover up her chest

no more short sleeve shirt 

alhamdulillah,
i smile and said 'hidayah milik Allah indeed'

mak yang sporting , kak atik yang loving & edon yang ..

mak,

dulu masa kecil, aku takut dan rasa macam nak nangis kalau mak da pandang aku semacam bagi amaran supaya jangan buat benda tu.

tapi sekarang akulah orang yang paling selalu baring atas riba mak aku bila tengok tv atau sakit kepala sebab lama sangat tidur siang.

dulu aku selalu rasa mak tak sayang aku,
tapi sekarang aku rasa kasih sayang mak aku kat aku infiniti.

mak aku tak macam mak orang lain. sebab mak orang lain bukan mak aku. 
mak aku akan masak apa yang aku nak makan, akan join bila-bila aku keluar shopping.

mak aku akan nangis bila aku nangis.
seolah-olah dia tahu apa yang aku tangisi.

mak aku bukan sekadar anatomi yang hidup.
tapi dia half of my soul.

kak atik,

dia nampak garang.
semua orang macam nampak takut nak approach dia.

tapi,
aku tau siapa dia
aku tau bila dia marah, bila dia sedih, bila dia sayang aku.

dia tau apa dia perlu buat bila aku kata "laparlah...."
sebab dia tau aku kuat makan :)

dia macam mak aku.
teman bertukar idea, berfikir sama ada vantage  
atau borneo rainforest jadi tema kat dalam rumah. 

dia determination orangnya, independent 
dan nak bagitau dia banyak bagi pengaruh aku untuk do something.
and she's like my boyfie, tak lekang mesej setiap hari.

mungkin aku tak pernah kata i love you.
but i really adore her. 

edon,

kami bagai anjing dan kucing.
dua hari baik, lima hari gaduh.

kami gila fesyen.
suka runtuhkan almari baju.

kitorang akan bermasam muka hanya 
sebab dia habiskan ayam goreng untuk makan malam.
dan aku kan mengadu kat mak aku sambil buat muka geram gila.

tapi akan baling bantal, ketawa terbahak-bahak 
bila nonton something funny.

sebelum balik sini haritu pun sempat lagi gaduh.
tapi dekat balai berlepas, pipi dia jugaklah aku paksa jadi landasan bibir mungilku ini.

my pretty sis, i love you.
takmo gaduh-gaduh.

mereka bukan wanita biasa.
tapi wanita inspirasi.

selamat hari wanita mak, kak atik & edon

safiah-hope , fahri-uncertainty

pertama kali safiah jumpa fahri, she just bermonolog
"eh, aku rasa dia ni kot orang tu". 
"did he know me since we are in the reality now".

kedua kali safiah terserempak, dia x sure lagi and she still wondering but she's just wondering because it's never being important for her to think about.

dia leka lalui hari-hari mendatang dengan going to class, having a great time with her friend and time goes by...

but, 
seolah-olah masa membeku then she start realize something and she keep it by herself because she did not see any reasonable reason why should she spread that 'something' like others girls.

because she believe the exclusivity.
she still keep secret and hope that something. 

fahri ? of course he did not know either. 

sometime people keep asking safiah's feeling. but, safiah more comfort to say
"ntahla. keep praying"

but no one who know what the heart beat saying..

people like fahri can be equated like bieber maybe ? i meant the seeking of how people adore him. 
and because of that, sometime safiah buang dalam longkang that hope. 

she think she not worthy.

but, safiah akan turun dalam longkang tu dan kutip the hope back when she stand up her believer again. she got attach with a simple conversation and it keep cycling up and down.

she believe love but on the same time she not sick towards it.
the price of herself is dignity. 
she believe 'jodoh'. 
but people dont understand. 
feeling just a roller coaster. 

safiah still keep the hope and fahri still being the uncertainty.
 

lillahitaala.. make it paradise for you

assalamualaikum ~~

sometimes bila kita dapat sesuatu kita mesti happy bagai nak rak. sampai nak satu dunia tau we have that awesome thing. sampai siang malam updates status fb pasal benda tu je. sampai call your bestfriend 78 kali sehari nak cerita keterlampaunan kehebatan anda memilikinya dan orang lain tak dapat. #ok ini melampau

but, when it come some limit, you getting bored toward that thing or even the thing is human being just because you aim the other 'thing' that more great, more awesome, more giving you satisfaction and kebanggaan maybe ?

ok, lets we pick some example..

example 1 :
before this you just have a piece of cloth which is very up to date. but once you saw a new outfit came out in 'hijabista' magazine which is i really not agree on how the muslimah fit on their cloth. #sorry hijabista !

then you decide to have it one at least. once you have it, you campak je baju yang actually more covered ketepi sebab its not listed as the outfit that make you look updated when you used it on that time.

example 2 :

you met with someone you believe it is you soulmate, mr right probably, could be suit to be your husband insyaallah and alhamdulillah you all already become hubby and wiffy. #it sound simple cute

but, come to certain time you stuck dengan kupu-kupu mula berterbangan dalam perut just because you start falling in love with someone in facebook, twitter or instagram maybe ?

based on what ? cinta pandang pertama ? oh i see, because its charming's look sampai termimpi-mimpi. he/she sooooo caring, sooo something that i got nothing from my hubby/wiffy right now. then what ? i think i tak bahagia with what i have now.

prof dr muhaya pernah cakap manusia ni lebih hauskan penghargaan dari makanan. #did you realized it happen on youself ?

so that, kita akan selalu ingin dapatkan sesuatu tak kiralah benda ka even human being (perasaan) to satisfied our desire. but sedihnya bila kita diminta untuk memberi, kita macam 'slow' banyak.

nak air milo ais tapi taknak bayar. #banyak cantek

consequences nya by what had you decide to do make you have to ignore apa yang you punya dahulu, just tolak tepi because utiliti terhadap benda tu dah menurun. #terus keluar konsep ekonomi. hamek !

but bila kita tak dapat what we want, kita rebel. should you ? #thinking

believe me, if you get something just to fulfill your desire which is memenuhi keinginan semata. ia bersifat sementara. because it will repeat the same thing for the whole of your life sebab kita bila dah bosan kita akan seeking for something new to what ? to fulfill the desire. fulfill the desire. fulfill the desire.

that is why, when you have something or someone, make it perfect for you. bersyukur sebab anda ada benda tu, memiliki orang tu. maybe i can say it rezeki dari Allah ?

insyaallah, bila kita keep that thing, that feeling lillahitaala.. you make it paradise babe.

"bila anda mencari seorang suami, janganlah cari yang hebat tapi carilah kehebatan yang ada pada suami anda itu"

jeans cinta lama aku

assalamualaikum..
salam maulidur rasul saudara-saudaraku sekalian :)
allahumahsollialasaihidinamuhammad, waalaalihisaidinamuhammad
 
jeans ? 
wassup with it ?
do i wanna promote you all to use it ? promote my pre-loved jeans ?
might be not. 

before today and a quarter years before, i'm the jeans lover. why ? just because it comfort me, easy me to run over the floor and jump up here and there. i think you also have the same thought as mine. did you ? 

see ! it fit you, by eyes it comfort and you will got no problem to jump over the floor 

but !

mungkin nak cakap aku dah tua kot tu yang sekarang macam tak berapa nak sesuai sangat pakai jeans. tapi umur 21 tahun nih la glory moment nak bergaya sakan kan ? umur 40 nanti tak kan still nak pakai jeans dengan lemak yang tersalah letak tu kemana-mana ? over fashionable pulok.

but its not the issue actually. memang aku tak sedar sebenarnya dah lama sangat aku tak pakai jeans or sebenarnya nak cakap aku dah tak berapa selesa nak pakai jeans untuk gerak kemana-mana. before aku nak further study dekat unimap, ada lah jugak sehelai dua jugak lah aku bawak buat penuh luggage aku dengan jeans yang pelbagai cutting. well, time tu kan aku die hard fan. x___x" 

then, believe it or not selama almost 5 month aku duk pereleh, maybe once or twice je aku dok sarung jeans tu kat kakiku yang jinjang lagi awesome nih. i more rather to used skirt or loose slack. saya budak baik sebenarnya ;p

ok stop make fun with it !

point nya di sini, dia gagal membuat aku jatuh cinta kepadanya LAGI. 

once saya terdetik nak pakai jeans keluar rumah, aku rasa macam tak kena. my heart say 'it's not appropriate dear. you are muslimah' . 

bila aku terlanjur memakainya, i felt like people around looked at me weirdly like i do such a big wrong thing even though time tu orang dok sibuk sorong troli kot masuk supermarket beli sayur bayam. 

time goes by, lunturlah cintaku yang sangat mendalam kepadanya.

tapi bagus jugak. actually it educate me on how i should display my appearance. kan ? aku ni rock but syurga neraka aku sangat berfikir tentangnya.

tapi yang paling susah is istiqomah. so, aku doa for you and my own self seeking for the hidayah from HIM as well as see the jannah as our goal. 

ALLAHUAKBAR !

so, ada sesiapa nak jeans free ? kih kih ..

inspired

assalamualaikum, 
happy new year even sudah beibu-ribu lemon saat berlalu.
#i'm in tawau !



she is 

maria elena.

an engineer. who thought ??

continuing her master studies

 and now she was a wife.

just be herself

#syabashemerebete

she is 

wardina safiyyah

da'i 

which know what she need in her life

concern not just about herself but also about 'you'

 purifying along the journey

tremendous mother

i'm very sure you and i cannot be the second maria elena or else wardina safiyyah. we are different. physically nor mentally. but i'm pretty sure you and i can push some effort to achieve what they already hold. they have their past nor you and i. but tomorrow bring a new sky for us.